We have sex and you stare at a spot an inch above my hairline the entire time. After I wriggle to a miserable selfish climax you mention that you have been awarded a position at a field research station in Madagascar and will be leaving in two days. I did not even notice until now that all of your things had been packed already.
“We lost seven thousand men, women, children, genderfuck and otherkin during a terrible friendly fire incident.”
The room is silent as a grave.
“This is a definite fail.”
The owner was crying out front and a policeman was mean mugging her or him
The bead store closed because of no money and bad beads
Nobody ever liked to go there
Nobody ever makes friendship bracelets anymore
Nobody ever makes craft necklaces anymore
Not since the northern dogmen invaded and made it a capital punishment
She or he is dead now I think anyways
Whatever
- Bulletin from Dogland Press Bulletin official newspaper
Dingraha.tumblr.com makes everything you ever did before w your computer obsolete
Dingraha.tumblr.com is a heartwarming look at the ways in which we find meaning, connection, and love in the 21st century - Professional Mush-headed Pabulum-monger Mitch “Fuckface” Albom
Mutual Respect!
Understanding!
He’s a good cuddler!
She’s a good cuddler!
We Take Turns Being The Big Spoon!
My Dreams!
Your Dreams!
And the s e x
oh my God the sex!
So phenomenal!
So affirming!
So naked there together touching
and stuff!
Smart!
Proud!
Bold!
Terror!
I love you except for so much!
Mutual Respect!
Understanding!
He’s a good cuddler!
She’s a good cuddler!
We Take Turns Being The Big Spoon!
My Dreams!
Your Dreams!
And the s e x
oh my God the sex!
So phenomenal!
So affirming!
So naked there together touching
and stuff!
Smart!
Proud!
Bold!
Terror!
I love you except for so much!
The “key” is to get my chapbook out over gchat this evening and no later. I say this to myself and raise a blue plastic cup to my hot sultry lips. I say this and a shitty potion of gilbey’s gin and five o’clock vodka and crystal light spills into my mouth. This mixed drink has been named “A Hard Gay’s Night” or at least that is what the handwritten sign over the Coleman cooler which it sits in says. I am wondering what Ryan is doing now and a man approaches me, nauseatingly.
He is confident and speaks too loudly. He has moist brown hair and crummy eyebrows and an idiot’s chin. He says his name is “Keith” and I say “Nice to meet you Kenneth” and he says “Keith” and I say “Kenneth” while looking at how well his gross stump of a neck elides with his infuriating puny head, I think his spirit animal is a pencil eraser.
Keinneith says irregardless and talks about his plans for starting an energy drink company after graduating and asks me several times to feel his muscles, which are weird and bad. I hate Keinneith.
Later we fucked, and I thought about new lists of early aughts nostalgia totems to submit to thought catalog/Derek Piotr’s “sound art”/bizarre fantasies of destroying people who say “sound art.” His shitty wiener also made me think his spirit animal is a pencil eraser. Ryan was probably never going to gchat me again, and there’s no way he’s really off his computer that much now he must be invisible.
I submitted my chapbook for publication on etsy’s Yarn Crafts section.
Ryan Schreiber says “hello” to me in the same way that a stone would say hello if it could talk and had just gotten over a bad breakup.
Some of you know that I started a blog called My Girl Zadie, which I never did anything with, as I was busy with school (or just lazy). While I can’t promise that I’ll ever have the commitment or time to devote an entire blog to one of my favorite authors in the whole world, I can promise…
1) Ten Things to Remember
2) Five Things to Forget About
3) It’s Too Easy To Be Unhappy
4) Scooby Doo Fruit Snacks and Your First Love
5) Girls You Got To Stop This!
6) Five Precocious Genius Children From DFW-Model Male Authors That I Identify With And Assume You Do Also
7) Twelve Things My First Year After College Taught Me About Loving Myself
8) My Favorite Shitty Descriptions Of Messily Eating Food Used As Metaphors To Describe A Particular Carefree Zesty Lifestyle That Does Not Fucking Exist
9) Eight Things I Was Finally Honest With Myself About After Graduating From College And Learning To Love Myself And After I Learned To Stop Running Away From My Problems And Taught Everyone Else To Stop Running Away From Their Problems By Writing Stale Bread Essayprose That Reads Like An AA Brochure Filtered Through The Lens Of “Stunna” Shades Worn At The Pitchfork Festival
10) Ten Comments You Can Leave To Validate Me As A Smart Young Boy Who Is Going Places And Has A Good Brain
