March 2012
194 posts
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Whenever a monk comes up to me in middleschool and...
I’m like no thanks and no way dude! more like pure laff Buddhism. *crossarms* *find adult*
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I fried some eggs and left the yolks runny and...
Transnationalism.
Watcharturan:
hardest i’ve laughed all day
February 2012
181 posts
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for an easter egg, check the link in my last post...
it is goatse dot cx, which should give everyone a nice feeling of nostalgia and familiarity
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“The four words that will define this century: Nacho Dorito Taco Shell.”
– @paulgilding at TED.
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“The four words that will define this century: The Earth is full.”
– @paulgilding at TED (via kateoplis)
I’m going to assume that his speech is derivative of this piece for AdBusters. In other words, he’s applying the same level of critical thought as George Carlin. Mind blowing analysis, TED does it again.
(via thenoobyorker)
it’s really cool when someone calls...
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My alt lit poem about getting nervous making a...
As a “white person” I
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“There were the bureaucrats of the Foreign Ministry, anxious to please England...”
– Mishima, Runaway Horses, God damn, God Damn, God Damn, God Damn, God Damn
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“Don’t you ever dare point this at anyone or anything you don’t...”
– Father handing his son his (his son’s) wiener.
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A big fat man in a tactical vest mouthing "Trigger...
“dumbassfils replied to your quote: dumbassfils replied to your post: ACCEPTING...”
– ideas are invincible bro *tosses the thousands of extant tao lin novels and short story collections at your feet, eventually burying you*. this is whats at stake
“dumbassfils replied to your post: ACCEPTING all last minute submissions for the...”
– dont ruin my smoke screen. it will bring us protection after we hear The True Call
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what if gravitys rainbow had iphones
the toilet diving scene would have been a lot more viscerally impactful to our generation
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ACCEPTING all last minute submissions for the tao...
When I wake up I press the tiny metal button on my small metal wristwatch which causes the face to light up and illuminate the tiny dark plastic dial that reads “3:30 A.M.” After checking gmail, gchat, skype, twitter, facebook, tumblr, vicemag, hipsterrunoff, huffington post, the new inquiry, the girl from the new inquiry’s facebook profile, the girl from the new...
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WOWWW a lot of people are so pretty
for girls.
a bird that winds a spring
shut up!
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“The liberal arts are for rich people to learn how to be non-sociopaths.”
– Myf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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The Wood Clowne Poffye
NOBODY TAKES MY MIDDLE ENGLISH TRANSLATION MEME BLOG SWRIOUSLY E
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A planet of alien Tweens
Now you’re Purchasing with Power
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“I shall do it. I shall forge my sadness into a monomolecular razor’s edge...”
– Paulo Coelho, in a secret interview published in a zine that I have. Don’t ask to see the Zine.
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Dennis Miller is a piece of shit.
Dennis Miller is a piece of shit.
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The one little appraiser at Antiques Roadshow who...
No 19th century Italian filigree again??… :o(
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I'm fifth wave masculinist
*rubs heiny against a picture of world war 2 pilot and cries for lost childhoods and poison thoughts of The Greatest Generation Who Did Not Know The Embrace Of Kevindoug, The Mother-Man. Persists in belief that white males are most persecuted minority, because it’s the future and robots hunt and chop us for parts*
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Writing an updated version of Lolita where Humbert...
Gold-Stan-dard: the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, above the teeth. Gold. Stan. Dard.
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Sounds like my ex wife is the universal joke
It pleases everyone. Sounds like my ex wife.
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follow yale tag on tumblr, follow cornell tag on...
nervous teens get stakes shoved thru their hearts 2x/year
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dialogue about how to end your poems
magulladon:
10:20 laurens_verdonkschot: i end all my poems with ‘there the poem is finished’
10:20 omardecol: u just burned me
10:20 carnivorousjudy: i try to end my poems with someone funny
10:20 carnivorousjudy: or just like
10:20 vicki-tingle: i end all poems with ‘i h8 myself and want to die’ in blank text so nobody can read it
10:20 carnivorousjudy: ‘and then he came on my chest’
...
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a puff of smoke with a tiny face inside.
baby blunt blower
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Do you remember when tumblr implemented fan mail...
Tumblr founder David whatshisnames full name is revealed as David O’Xanga??! Really makes you think.
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hahaha i just realized i was following shit pritch...
pritch highlights reel. Now thats what i call Pritch. Kidz Pritch.
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“Reductive humor is lazy, and far too easy, and far too mean to ever gain my...”
– Some idiot who would write something like “but before I let you peel back too many oniony layers of my personal history, let me tell you about the cream that floated to the top. (ed note: mixing metaphors, like I mixed together too many high octane caffeine drinks this morning! Yowza!)”
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Tao Lin Breakfast Project
I wake up from the recurring dream I have been having where terse anemic prose “floats” around me and when I go to”speak” cold sand streams out of my mouth but no “language” comes out. Also I am inside an Apple store in the dream. Beside the bed is a torn pack of soynuts which I hold open over my mouth until it is empty.
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UYD: full pubes, not yet driving
Uyd
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Doing a Crumb of Drug
Do the drug crumb
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Israel
The most criminal state :oP
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Cool girl stories employes by pernicious nice guy...
The one that got away…~~~~££££££
Tina, bite teh steez
Aauauataa
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Bug: Tao Lin Breakfast Project Part →
dingraha:
I am sitting in a chair at a table in an “upscale” furnished apartment that belongs to an NYU graduate student. She is sitting in a chair at the same table, across from me. We look at each other. She says “well then.” I tell her “I know what you mean.” She says nothing but makes an…
the new sincerity collides with the alt lit in our new hit buddycop collab novel “feelings...
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Working on my "personal branding"
*walks around college campus w bouquet of roses/cane/always has a Bowtie on for some reason/kanyeglasses, translates this concept into adulthood*